I'm sorry.

This post goes out to all of my mommy friends.

I don't blog very often these days, in fact, hardly ever.  

Life.is.busy.

I've felt a real burden to post this to facebook (where I'm able to "talk" to all of my mommy friends at once) but I didn't feel like there would be enough space in my status box to clearly explain myself.  

Post in on the blog, oh yeah, of course!

God is working in me, greatly working inside of me and it feels great, even though it hurts.  When I am at my weakest, it is then that all of the things that my flesh craves die and those things die to Him.  After all of that garbage (rotten stinky garbage that has been filling my life) is out of the way I am left with a blank canvas, it may have some scratches and a some eraser marks but I'm right where He wants me to be.  

This week I've been extremely burdened to give an apology to all of my mommy friends.

To each and every single one of my friends who is a mother, I am sorry, SO SORRY.

I am sorry that my views and opinions have been pressed upon you.

I am sorry that when I chose to use cloth diapers, I automatically assumed that everyone was in the same situation as I was and that everyone should have taken to it like I did.  Not everyone enjoys (yes I actually did enjoy it) using cloth, folding cloth, etc.  I know this now.

I am sorry that when I chose to breast feed instead of bottle feed I jumped on the "BREAST IS BEST" bandwagon and began seeing things only one way..because of this I dealt with terrible self esteem issues when I was no longer able to nurse my babies and we had to use formula.  I seriously had myself convinced that formula babies weren't happy or healthy babies, wrong!  Too much worrying about something that I couldn't control.  I read it best the other day from a friend on facebook .. it shouldn't be about breast or bottle .. "FED IS BEST!"  Feed your baby with love and they'll nurture on that for an entire lifetime.  

I am sorry that I tried to force my way of unconventional parenting upon you and your family.  Everyone parents differently (yes, I'm just now really opening my eyes to this).  What works for one family or even a particular child might not work for you, and that's okay.

I am sorry that if my child passed a certain milestone before yours did I posted about it on facebook and made you doubt yourself or your parenting skills, you're doing a great job.  Each child develops at their own pace.  I never intended to make any parent doubt themselves or their child, I was over eager to share what the kids were doing.

I am sorry if I have ever made parenting seem like a race, a place of show and tell, a competition or anything else that wasn't supportive to you, as a mom.

I am sorry for not supporting you when you needed it.

I am sorry for pushing my views and opinions upon you when all you wanted was for someone to listen to how your day was going, not for someone to chime in with "well this worked for us" or "have you tried this?".

I am not perfect, I am not even trying to be perfect.  I am simply trying to be me.  
I am trying to let God be the center of who I am and letting everything else fall where it should.
I am here to support you, not to chime in with unwanted advice.

This is me and I am sorry.

P.S.  Can we start over?  How can I encourage you today?  What brightens your day?  What is something small that means the world to you?

I want to have an intentional relationship with YOU, not just a small silly facebook friendship, I want to be there for you when you need someone.  How can I support you and your family?